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Big things come in waves...


What can life look like in a single month for a third-year PhD student?


May 7 - Find out that my wife is pregnant for the 1st time and we called our parents!!!

May 12 - Drive 800 miles to Ottawa, Canada for a conference (flights were $$$)

May 13 -17 - NETWORK, NETWORK, NETWORK, presentation, NETWORK!!!

May 20 - 23 - Edit manuscript and create a slide deck for quals oral defense.

May 24 @ 9:30am - Find out I passed written portion of quals!!

May 24 @ 3pm - My wife calls me and is worried, doctor orders labs for tomorrow.

May 25 @ 7am - Labs drawn, go to farmer's market for a distraction...

May 25 @ 9:30am - hCG levels normal, retest in 48 hrs. for comparison (doubles every 2 days)

May 25 @ 12pm - Get home and start doom scrolling on pregnancy forums...

May 25 @ 2pm - Progesterone levels seem low-ish, continue doom scrolling...

May 25 @ 5pm - Call my RN mom, ask what can be normal during first trimester...

May 26 - Worry and wait...

May 27 - Supposed to get labs, but closed for Memorial Day... Worry and wait...

May 28 @ 7am - Labs drawn, go home and wait...

May 28 @ 8am - hCG levels dropped by 50%, we lost the pregnancy...

May 28 @ 8:30am - Wife calls off work and comes to my primary care appointment with our doctor who shares that this happened to her with her 1st pregnancy.

May 28 @ 10am - Call everyone in our families who we wanted to know...

May 28 @ 11am - Meet with my incredibly supportive advisor, because we have a manuscript revision due back at the end of the week and I know that I need to come up with a plan to accomplish my portion of the revisions.

May 28 @ 12pm - Grieve...

May 29 - Support wife and work through revision...

May 30 - Wife gets positive report at gyno appointment that everything should be fine and we shouldn't be discouraged. I continue to work through revisions and receive written feedback on my qualifying exam to incorporate in my oral defense.

June 2 - Call my mom, because it's my adoption day and I know she'll forget because she's getting older and sometimes she misses stuff. Also, figure out a plan for her to get to her knee replacement surgery tomorrow. My brother will drop her off and then I will drive up to Indianapolis to be with her and take her home when discharged.

June 3 - Work frantically at hospital to incorporate quals feedback in presentation...

June 4 - Work more at hospital and then take mom home and get her set up for my brother and his wife to jump in, before driving back to Bloomington.

June 5 @ 8am - Find out I that I was awarded the James E. West Graduate Fellowship by the Acoustical Society of America, $62,000 in total funds to cover my final 2 years of funding!!!

June 5 @ 8:15am - Finish slide deck, practice, and read as much as possible to help with answering any theory questions during the defense.

June 6 @ 12pm - Present my F31 grant proposal, and successfully defend!!!

June 6 @ 1:45 - Come home to get ready before my in-laws visit for my mother-in-laws birthday dinner.

June 7 @ 10am - Write a blog post to vent about life and reflect on how fast things change.



I am so grateful for the support network that has kept Jill and me afloat through such a tumultuous time. The past month started with celebrating 5 years of marriage and ended with more celebration yesterday. All of the hard moments that happened in between are alleviated by wonderful moments and people in our lives. The link below has links to several resources and organizations that we found helpful as we continue to work through this loss.



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